unremarkable by Ruth Adams

unremarkable
by Ruth Adams

"I decided I had to find a way to document my journey through what I imagined would be the deterioration of my physical and visual health... instead of depicting a devastating decline in health, the images reveal a rebirth. In the early Polaroids I look dead inside—my eyes seem empty, my body already ill from the growing cancer. As the months progressed, the cancer pallor appeared and my hair started to fall out, but my spirit got stronger and stronger and it shows. In the end, I found I had created a body of work that reveals how beautiful and strong the soul is even when fighting for its life."

Ruth's artistic documentation of her cancer, while not "cancertainment" in the usual sense of the word, is poignant and personal. I find it inspiring that without knowing it, she created a work that was the exact opposite of what she intended. Like she says, instead of creating a moving, but depressing piece, she creates something that is uplifting-- a harsh reality, but uplifting nonetheless. I like that she, and many cancer advocates, like to promote the concept that "cancer is not a death sentence". This is the big, scary myth of cancer, and dispelling this myth it would go a long way towards getting people to talk about it, and just maybe preventing a few people from catching it early.

The problem is, for many people, it can be. I'll share a story. In 2005 I was diagnosed with late-stage testicular cancer, which had metastasized to my liver, kidney, lungs, and brain. I had astronomically high tumor markers and I was considered to have a very poor prognosis for survival. Believe me, I've read the statistics, even if my doctor didn't make me well aware of it from the start. During treatment, I met another young man my age, named John. John had the same diagnosis, some oncology team, same medical history, same treatment plan, but his markers were 13 times-- 13 times!-- lower than mine. His prognosis seemed like a no-brainer: chemotherapy, one surgery, and remission in no time flat. Unfortunately, John didn't live to see the next year, while I'm in my 3rd year of survivorship. The simple fact is: there is no rhyme or reason to who gets cancer, and who survives it. It isn't fair. And wrestling with that fact is the hardest part of survivorship. The challenge is to stay realistic, but maintain an attitude not necessarily of positivity, but of resilience.

To quote another survivor, "The reality is, it sucks." The best you can do is to keep living, and tell cancer to go to hell. And above all, share your experience.